Friday, March 9, 2012


I read a couple of blogs and one of my favorites is Pacing The Panic Room.  I love the way Ryan writes and his pictures are amazing.  Today he has featured a video which truly inspired me.

With everything going on with Jordam sometimes I have a hard time getting out of bed in the morning.  For some reason this time has been harder than the other two.  When she was lying in a hospital bed dying I dealt with it much better.  Maybe because I knew we would fight it and I knew she wouldn't die.  I knew our strength and her courage would keep us going.

When she developed the problem with her eyes I thought it was just a little set back.  Nothing major, better than seizures and something we could beat.

This time I was thrown.  I was not prepared to find out that something new was wrong.  I was finally letting the walls down and thinking everything was going to be okay.  I'm not saying it won't be okay, it has just taken me longer to get over this new set back.

After watching this video I know we will get through.  The inspiration this man brings in amazing.  I love inspiration things and wish that I could inspire people in the way this man inspired me.  I want to thank him for reminding me that we are the only ones that hold ourselves back.  We are the ones in control of our lives and destinies and we can take control back, instead of wallowing in the misery we have come to know.

I hope you all watch and become as inspired as I have.

Thursday, February 9, 2012


This F*cking Sucks is how I felt today until I got on the computer and found this quote from John Wayne.

“Courage is being scared to death, but saddling up anyway." -John Wayne

I wanted to sit on the floor and cry or scream. I wanted to yell at someone for not being able to tell me what is wrong with Jordan. I wanted to throw things and run far away. I am frustrated because she is sad and depressed and I feel like I am not helping her. Then I read this quote and realized I could not hide. I needed to Saddle Up.

So that is what I am doing. Her platelets are 71K, which is great. We are keeping the course of prednisone for the next 3 days and then lowering it to 40 mgs a day. We go to a new doctor next Wednesday and hopefully her platelets will be even higher then.
She has some cookie ideas that she wants to try, hope even is ready to be a guinea pig for her creations. She has moments when she is really down and I am trying to do as many fun things with her as I can. We talked about going back to school and have a game plan worked out. She learned she can still go to the dentist and if she needs teeth pulled we can do something so she can have that done.
All and all positive stuff, my frustrations will always be here I just need to keep them at bay.

As for Devon, I think he is fine. I believe he might be allergic to almonds, which is what caused him to get sick yesterday.

Have a wonderful week and we will keep you all posted. Thanks again for the love, support and strength, it means the world to me.

Saturday, January 21, 2012


We are 21 days into 2012 and I think I have a new list of resolutions.  They aren't so much resolutions as they are things that I am going to do this year.  I am hoping to accomplish everything I want to and continue on my path to happiness.  After the last year, my daughter getting sick and almost dying, the doctors not know what is wrong with her and finding out who my friends really are I am now focusing on myself and what I need to do form me.  Since having children I have identified myself as a wife and a mom.  Now I am going to start this year with me becoming me again and taking back my life, for me.  I am still going to be a wife and a mom, I am just hoping that with doing things for me I will be better at both.

So here are my list of life lessons, experiences and entertainment for 2012:

1. Read 100 books and review them all.

2. Listen to 1000 new songs

3. Start eating healthier.

4. Exercise 3 times a week.

5. Take a photography class.

6. Attend Blissdom, if not this year then next.

7. Finish writing my book.

8. Take silk screening classes and start website for my son.

9. Become and parent advocate for Special Education Students.

This is just a start.  I have deceived there are so many things I would like to do that I am going to put a life list together, something I learned from Mightygirl.

If you made resolutions this year I hope you are keeping to them.  If you are having trouble remember you are not alone.  Reach out to someone for help and you will be able to accomplish anything.