Thursday, September 30, 2010

2 months

It is hard to believe that it has been 2 months since Jordan got sick. She is looking so good and getting better every day that sometimes it is hard to think just a few weeks ago we were fighting for her life. As time goes on and we move on with our lives there are times when I think we might get slapped in the face all over again. I am not sure when this feeling will pass or even if it ever will.

Sometimes when I lay awake at night I pray that everything is going to be okay. Since we don’t have any answers as to why this happened I am even more afraid. We know that it was viral encephalitis, although we have no idea what the virus is or if it will come back. When life is going along just fine you never think something bad is going to happen. Then something happens and you have to learn how to be normal all over again. I think your definition of normal changes after you are fighting for your child’s life. You don’t want to live in a state of fear just waiting for something awful to happen, so you move forward thankful for every day you have.

I think we have been doing a good job of moving forward and although there are times the fear breaks through, we won’t let it win. We have the strength of our friends, family and everyone here and Jordan herself. She is a constant reminder that things can get better and do.

Jordan starts tutoring tomorrow; she is very excited about learning again. While she still does not have the stamina to make it through a full day we are very excited that she is going to start moving forward with her school work. I know she is happy about this new adventure, although I do have my fears. She has always been a good student and I hope that she does not get frustrated if things don’t come as quickly now. I know that she is in good hands and will do great.

Her physical therapy is still moving in the right direction. She moved forward so quickly that now we are working on fine tuning things. The hope is to have her running again and doing the things she used to. Her running improves every day, although her ankles are still weak and she does not have the endurance to last long. I think she may have turned her ankles in before; I just never paid much attention to it. If need be we can get her inserts at some point.

We thank God every day that Jordan is here with us. We will never forget the horror that was our lives for the past few months and we will not let it control us. We thank you all for your love, support and prayers.

Loves, Hugs, and God Bless!

Friday, September 24, 2010

Jordan's Night

Jeff and I would like to thank everyone for tonight. We had a wonderful time and it would not have been a success without all of you. We are so lucky to have such wonderful friends and family. They all did an awesome job with tonight and there really are no words to truly express how we feel. We are so blessed and grateful to everyone. The most important part of tonight was Jordan and she had a wonderful time.

When we started this journey we had no idea if and when Jordan would be coming home. Tonight she proved everyone wrong by being there and having so much fun. She was painting faces, chasing boys and acting like her normal self. She got to see many of her friends and she loved that. She laughed and played like she hasn’t done in a long time. I was so happy to see her on the dance floor with her friends, dancing and singing.

There are truly hundreds of people that we need to thank for tonight. We tried to go around and personally thank everyone. I am not sure if we succeeded at that, although I would like you all to know that your love and support is truly appreciated.

To our friends and family that put this together. We love you. I know that there is nothing we can do to thank you enough and I know that even if we tried you would tell us to forget about it. This whole experience has taught me so much about how blessed we truly are. You all know who you are and while I would love to list you all I know that I would forget someone, so know that if you are ever in need of anything please know we will be right there for you.

Around 9:30 Jordan was done. Her adrenaline was gone and she needed to go home. I went in to say good bye to my friends and of course the band started playing a wonderful song. I started dancing because HELLO I needed a little fun as well. (But she thought I was in side saying good bye, then she walked in side and saw me dancing with my friends and got really mad at me. This is from Jordan)
So I had to leave right away to get her home. She was upset with me at first although after about a half hour she started talking to me again. I apologized because I knew she was tired and I should have left instead of dancing. Right before she fell asleep she said “I’m sorry too mom because I know your friends make you happy.”

She never seizes to amaze me. She is right my friends do make me happy and I have missed going out and spending time with them. I explained to her that while I love my friends no one is more important than she is. I hope that someday she will have friends that she is as close to as I am to mine and she will understand.

All and all it was an awesome night. Lots of laughs and fun was had and tomorrow morning I will be the loudest at the soccer games because I was home early. Hope you all enjoyed the rest of the night.

We love you all and we will never be able to thank you. At one point tonight I was at a totally loss for words, which is something I am usually not. I was in total awe and amazement at how many people came out to support us. As I have said many times tonight there are no words that will ever truly convey how we feel.


Loves, Hugs and God Bless!

Thursday, September 23, 2010

Reaching an Understanding

Jordan and I have been spending lots of time together. I know that part of her attitude is her and part of it is her medications. I have been trying very hard to let things go and understand her frustration. I have let her take those first small steps into freedom, while holding my breath.

Today we were watching TV and she was acting silly and dancing around. I had so much fun watching her and I realized that we are going to be okay. I know that we still have a lot of obstacles to overcome and that schooling is a big one, yet I know that we can handle them.

After watching her and feeling so happy I felt the need to apologize to her. I have been a hovering mom, which is something that I am not. I have told her she can’t do things, which is something I usually don’t do. Now I don’t just let me kids run around like maniacs, although some may think that I do. I believe that they are individuals that need to explore their worlds. I believe that they need guidance, although they are able to make their own decisions.

So while she was sitting on the couch I went over and said “Jordan I am very sorry.”

She looked at me and said “No mom I should be sorry because I am the one that is usually angry and mad.”

We had a wonderful conversation about what we would both do to try harder. I was so amazed that while her medications affect her most of the time there are moments of clarity. She understands that this is frustrating and that she is a little different. This gives me hope that when she is finally off her medications she will be the same little girl I have always loved.